A positive attitude is important to success

One of the components in helping someone gets through the ups and downs of life is attitude. Attitude is something that makes or breaks a person. If someone has a positive outlook on life, they will always look at the positive side of things. Attitude is everything, even the worst situation can be tackled with one’s positive attitude. It is obvious that a positive attitude produces results that are more favorable while a negative attitude tends to lead to failure.

In any situation that happens in our lives, we have the power to respond positively or negatively to those circumstances. However, we cannot control what happens to us, but we can control our attitude toward what happens to us. Try to find the positives in everything you do to ensure that you are content and happy and live a life full of hope and optimism.

Have a positive mindset, because with that, you can get closer to finding your passion and pursuing it and that increases your chance of success. When you do something you are passionate about, you put your energy and sincere efforts, and success is bound to be achieved. 

 

                       Domestic violence is cruelty

No one has the right to abuse YOU period. There are different forms of domestic violence such as emotional, intimidation, battery, sexual, physical abuse, hurtful words, and other abusive behavior one partner uses consistently to maintain power and control over the other. Domestic violence can happen to anyone and in any kind of relationships, but it is mostly directed towards women.

Sometimes a partner is so jealous that they use isolation and restriction of freedom to abuse their partner. They want to spend all of their time with their partner preventing them to visit their friends and family members. In any social events where the abuser is not in control, they will not allow their partner to attend. The abuser might even monitor the social accounts of their victims including their emails and phone.

For any relationship to flourish there should be love between the partners. However, if down the road the love has run its course and both parties do not love each other anymore, split and let each other go their separate ways. But never resort to bullying and violence to control your partner and make them do certain things they are not willing to do, just because you want to control them. You should never hit a woman and vice versa.

People, how can someone beat up a woman, gives her some bruises and then later on, ask that same woman, let us make love and have sex. While having sex, that same man will be looking at the woman in the face and seeing those bruises he gave her and still be having that sex. The question then is, is the man enjoying the sex while seeing those bruises he gave the woman? That is disguising, despicable and unacceptable. No one has the right to beat you in any relationship. This applies to both men and women.

If someone beat you up once, and you forgive him and you stay in the relationship, thinking that he will change his behavior, you are mistaken. Then he beats you again and some women will still stay in the relationship. Many women allowed themselves to be bullied and beaten repeatedly. When you ask them, why are you still in the relationship? They will say, quote “I love him”. You do not love anyone for them to beat you up. No matter how imperfect you are in the relationship, you are not in any relationship to be beaten up by anyone. One day he will kill you. If anyone beats you in any relationship, leave that person and find love elsewhere. You can also sue your partner in court for harassment, emotional distress, and other forms of abuse. Domestic violence is cruelty.

For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

 

                                                         Bullying is Cruelty

In case you do not know. Bullying is the repeated act of aggressive behavior to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying ruins life.

The journey of a thousand miles to your dream begins with a single step, but Bullies will not even let you take that first step. Because of hatred and resentment for who you are. Bullying is cruelty and unacceptable.

Do not bully people because of their race, sexual orientation, national origin, their religion, how they look, talk, and act. We all have one creator, Let us treat each other the way we should like to be treated and with compassion. Bullying is unacceptable period.

People, nothing relieves the heart and makes someone happy more than thinking well of others. It protects someone from the harm of worrisome thoughts that disturb his peace of mind and exhaust the body. Thinking well of others leads to a sound heart, strengthens the ties of cordiality and love among the individuals of a community, and frees the hearts from hatred and rancor.

Before you bully someone or say hurtful words to someone, think twice, ask yourself, if you are the victim, how would you feel? So do not be hateful or hurtful. Stop the bullying.

When you see someone being bullied, do not have a nonchalant attitude about it, stand up and speak out because you might be the hero that saved the victim's life.

Let us show one another humility, love, kindness and compassion. And then make this world a better place to live.

Evil

You have had the word EVIL but maybe you do not know what it is all about. Now let me show you what EVIL looks like and what it is all about, and why is not good to be an EVIL person. Look at this picture, this is EVIL in the first degree. What this police officer did was not only EVIL, it was also brutal.

Seeing the life of a human being been squeezed out of him by a police officer’s knee on his neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds was systematic racism and it has brought to the forefront the ugly reality of racial injustice and inequalities in our society.

To see someone’s life in real time been taken from him with that kind of excruciating deliberation, the police officer looked at us (the camera), knew that he was been recorded and does not care, showed the kind of systematic racism we have in our society

The nonchalant attitude with which the police officer put his knee on the neck of George Floyd with his sunglass over his head, his hand on his pocket as if to say I do not care and was not afraid of been videotaped. Then when he played deaf to the sound of his suffering and cries, showed you the kind of systematic racism we have in our societies. He was not trying to hide what he was doing. If he was not afraid of what he was doing when videotaped, imagine how many people they have killed without videos. Do not get me wrong, some police officers are good people and they do their work diligently. However, the officer in that picture is just EVIL.

Then you have the police officer that shot a man who was running away with their Taser. If he was running away, why not shoot him in the legs to stop him from running instead of killing him. That is again systematic racism because the police officer thought that he would do that and get away with it. Some of the police officers do not care about black people's lives. If they care about black lives matter, do not shoot to kill the person.

We have seen some videos of police brutalities on black people before and many times the police officers get away with murder. The murder of George Floyd struck us differently and spark a worldwide protest and movement of black lives matter because the cruelty of the time was long and it happened in real time.

Also because of the Coronavirus pandemic lockdown, people were at home and many distractions in our daily lives were removed, many people reflected on what happened and said enough is enough. Many people risk their lives in the middle of the pandemic to match and protest because of the systematic racism against black people for centuries.

We hope that the murder of George Floyd will dismantle the systematic racism against black people. If God created us equal, then listen to the black and poor people’s sufferings and cries, desperation, victims of many social inequalities in jobs, housing, health insurance, and lowest wage workers as shown by the disproportionate from the COVID-19 pandemic. Finally, let us love and treat each other the way we should like to be treated, and then make this world a better place to live.

by Chibike I. Nwabude

Envy

                           

People love your neighbor as yourself but never use envy to the point that it is bad for your health.

Both jealousy and envy are natural emotions. When either of these emotions consumes you and you react unreasonably instead of consciously, then the emotions can lead to bad results. People do harmful things when in a jealous rage. They end important relationships with those they envy.

Envy is the tendency to perceive with displeasure the good of others while jealousy is the fear that something you have (be it a person or a possession) will be taken away from you by someone else. Envy gives you a bad attitude. Envy can bog you down with crippling negativity. It can turn someone who was once a go getter into someone who constantly complains and looks on the downside. It is not a positive emotion.

It is no fun to feel envy or jealous because both make you feel inadequate. Envy is when you want what someone else has and resent them for it. However, jealousy is when you are worried about someone trying to take what you have. If someone dates who you are dating you feel jealousy.

Envious people tend to feel hostile, resentful, angry and irritable.

Envy harms you.

Taking up your time.

Consuming your thoughts.

Ruining your personal and professional relationships.

Have bad effect on your personality.

Creating negativity.

Envy is caused by dissatisfaction with your self image, your perception of your actual stature. This dissatisfaction is also called low self-esteem, a poor self appraisal of your actual stature.

Envy might lead someone to avoid, dislike, and make others hate who they are envious of through lies, manipulation and deception.

Not all envies are created equal, while some envy leaves nothing but a bad aftertaste, others may inspire you to reach new heights of achievements. The right kind of envy can serve an important personal and social function, which can encourage someone to try harder in order to succeed. Instead of using envy as self destruction of yourself, use it in a positive way that encourages you to achieve higher stature.

by Chibike I. Nwabude

Kindness

Sometimes small, seemingly insignificant gestures can be defining moments that brighten someone else’s day. Daily acts of kindness can be as simple as greeting a stranger with a genuine “good morning” “Hello” or letting your close friends and family members know you love them. Benevolent actions may only take a minute of your time, but the impact of each deliberate act is tremendous. Every act of kindness you do sets an example for others around you and puts an entire community of giving in motion. A little compassion, a selfless act, or a few thoughtful words can propagate an engaging, generous, and kind-hearted community one random act of kindness at a time.

Let us make this world a better place to live. Treat each other the way we should like to be treated and with compassion. Bullying is cruelty.

by Chibike I. Nwabude

Forgive and Set Yourself Free: Reasons to Forgive the Wrongs Done to Us

When a person does us wrong, human nature wants us to hold on to the hurt, become bitter, and carries around the grudge. We would say, I am not going to forgive them because they do not deserve it. Not forgiving is not for their sake. You are forgiving them for your sake.

As long as you hold on to the hurt, the anger, the bitterness, resentment and grudges, it is not affecting them, it is affecting you. Unforgiveness is like a poison. It may feel good to hold on to it, but it will contaminate your life. Many times, the reason we do not forgive is because what the other person did was wrong. They were clearly at fault, but when you forgive, you did not excuse their behavior, and you are not lessening the offense. You are simply getting the poison out of you.

You have to forgive so that you can be free. Stop looking at it as if you are doing them a favor, No, you are doing yourself a favor. It takes a lot of emotional energy to hold a grudge, to live with unforgiveness. When you wake up, it is always on your mind, thinking about how they did you wrong. You may not realize that you are spending a lot of emotional energy that you need for your dreams and for your goals. You would not become all that you are created to be, if you are wasting your emotional energy on things that do not matter.

Unforgiveness is like an impurity. Yes, what they did to you was wrong, but you have to let it pass. You have to release the impurity. When you do, you are not only feeling new freedom, but you have more energy, and God will be your vindicator. He will make your wrong right. You do not have to pay people back for the wrong they did to you, you are not the judge. God is the Judge. Leave it up to him, he will vindicate you better than you can vindicate yourself.

You never really get over what was done to you, but you can get pass it. Yes, it is difficult, yes, there was a season of mourning when we lost dear ones, but we do not have to stay in mourning forever, you do not have to live in bitterness, you do not have to be stuck in grief and in depression. You can move forward. When you go through a lost or things happened that you do not understand, is easy to think, I just need to get over this. But, sometimes that is too strong. It can put more pressure on us. Then we think, why do I feel this way? I might be doing something wrong. Take some of the pressure off yourself. You do not have to get over what happened to you, just get pass it. Just keep moving forward, taking it one day at a time.

When we hold on to negative thoughts, like the anger, bitterness, resentment and grudges, it stifles our creativity. We do not do our best work because is infection is slowing us down. To reach the fullness of your destiny, you need to operate at your maximum potential. With the negative thoughts, you are operating at a fraction of what you could do. So get rid of all the negative thoughts, and with your faith in God, he will fill your life with good things. Set yourself free, forgive the wrongs done to you, pick up the pieces and move on with your life. Prove the bullies wrong by achieving your goals against all odds.

by Chibike I. Nwabude

Why Don’t We Rage Against Discrimination?

Discrimination against blacks in the workplace seems to be on the rise once more in the US.  According to a survey conducted by Gallup from November-December 2020, 24% of black workers spoke of discrimination at work. 75% of those who experienced discrimination felt that they were discriminated against because of their race or ethnicity. The survey finding is a painful reminder to blacks that dark days are still ahead and the fight for equality is not yet over.

When faced with blatant discrimination, it is perfectly acceptable to feel anger, the feeling of animosity directed towards another individual who has done wrong. It drives one to speak out and assert his rights under existing laws of the land. However, anger that is allowed to simmer can drive a person over the boiling point. Uncontrolled, it can lead to rage that, in turn, may graduate in unnecessary violence or harm to both the individual and the subject of the anger. One has to control anger and harness it into something more productive.

Blacks can muster efforts against perceived discriminatory policies and practices in the workplace by addressing them and filing cases in the proper channel. One of these channels is the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). It is the agency tasked with enforcing federal laws on race, color, disability, and gender discrimination. The EEOC is ramping up its enforcement activities as evidenced by the recovery of approximately US$535 million in monetary benefits due to discrimination victims in 2021. 

by Chibike I. Nwabude

On Bullying

For any bully that has a conscience, look yourself in the mirror and ask this question. What do I gain by making someone's life miserable? Then reflect on how your actions ruin lives. Maybe that would persuade you not to bully someone again.

If you see someone being bullied, speak out and let the bully know that their actions are not acceptable. If everyone stands up and speaks out, we will make a difference in the world.

Never allow anyone to bully you into silence, reach out for help, and do not accept the Bully’s definition of your life. Define yourself any way you want, it is your prerogative, not the bullies.

Make a difference in someone's life. Do something nice for someone you do not know. You would be surprised by the lasting impact made on their lives.

If you see violence, condemn it, if you see bigotry, oppose it. If you see bullying, stand up and speak out. Bullying is cruelty. Stop the bullying.

We all should remember that bully victims are our relatives, friends, or even strangers. Please do not turn a blind eye to their sufferings.

by Chibike I. Nwabude

What is Depression to a Disabled Black Man?

Depression and disability are closely intertwined. Physical or mental disability often leads to depression. It is the reason why depression is accepted as a material ground in claims against disability insurance. A medical condition that is manifested by prolonged feelings of sadness, depression hinders a person’s ability to accomplish his day-to-day activities. There is a loss of interest in activities that one used to take pleasure in. For a disabled black man, it is easy to fall prey to and sink into the abyss of depression. Any form of discrimination in the community or the workplace foisted on a disabled black man can trigger the downward spiral. Only someone with an incredible mental fortitude can expect to weather the rigors of depression unscathed.

A disabled black man should learn to recognize the onset of depression. Someone who is struggling financially or in his relationships might find it tempting to wallow in apathy until the anxiety recedes. Mental experts have warned against going with the flow. The best way to counteract depression is to proactively fight against it. A day at the gym to exercise is often helpful. Aqua-jogging or jogging in water is recommended for individuals who have difficulty moving. The most important thing is to mingle with friends or seek out a therapist if the symptoms continue.

Persons with disabilities, even if he is black and not well off, should not be ashamed of being depressed. There are always people willing to help depressed individuals out of the rut.

by Chibike I. Nwabude

What are the Fundamental Needs of a Struggling Disabled Black Man?

To be a black man in the US heightens the chances of scraping the bottom of the barrel.  More so, if the black man is at the same time a person with a disability. The opportunities to be had in areas of man’s basic needs such as education, employment, and housing are limited by natural bias, discrimination, and government policies.

A black man needs quality education to climb the corporate ladder or make his mark as an astute businessman. The National Center for Education Statistics, however, cites that in 2019, only 29.1% of blacks aged 25-29 completed a bachelor’s degree and 6.2% of the same demographics achieved a master’s degree. It is a sharp contrast to almost 45% of whites who garnered a bachelor’s degree and 10.3% who finished a master’s degree.

Employment and housing for blacks also pose a problem. A report on The Economic State of Black America in 2020 made by the Joint Economic Committee of the US Congress highlighted that 6% of blacks are unemployed compared to 3.1% of whites. Lack of employment and underemployment contribute to the US$29,000 gap in household income of blacks versus whites. The income disparity is also the reason why only 42% of black families own their homes compared to 73% of white families. As a consequence, 58% of black households are renting their homes versus 28% of whites. The high cost of mortgage rates ascribed to black neighborhoods and low home valuation serve as further deterrents to homeownership.

by Chibike I. Nwabude

How to Help Blacks Disabled with Poliomyelitis

The good news is that according to the World Health Organization (WHO), Africa was declared free of poliomyelitis on August 25, 2020, a significant enough achievement at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Wild polio had ravaged the African continent for years with Nigeria often cited as one of its few remaining bastions where religious figureheads mounted a campaign against the use of the oral polio vaccine. Coupled with the intermittent armed conflicts across the African region that prevented access of health care workers, and, in some cases, led to their deaths, eliminating poliomyelitis was a daunting challenge.

For blacks who emigrated from Africa to the US, the scourge of the poliovirus is but a dim reminder of the past. However, for a few others stricken with the paralyzing disease before they arrived on US soil and granted immigrant status, they must deal with the harsh reality that poliomyelitis is more than just a ghost in the mirror. It is a staple of everyday life. When one is afflicted with a disability whether it be a paralyzed or immobilized lower limb that usually occurs when one has had polio, life is never ordinary. It requires strength of character and a good deal of determination to survive constant doses of criticism and discrimination for being different.

One can assuage the anxiety of blacks disabled due to polio by showing compassion. Welcoming them and pointing out to them the benefits due to a person with disability can go a long way.  

by Chibike I. Nwabude